37-year-old boyfriend tells his 5-year-old daughter to keep provoking his 27-year-old girlfriend, even after she said she feels disrespected, she considers dumping him: "Is this as big of a red flag as it feels?"

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 23, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Dating these days is rough. From unenthused and noncommittal men, to women trying to fast forward a relationship in the first date, we have some real problems on our hands. Where the issues begin, and can we turn them around? It's uncanny how ubiquitous and global the complaints are. It really demands a great sociological experiment about the genders. We live in a digital era, and that means digital dating. The possibility of Prince Charming just became accessible with the press of a button, and the idea of a Cleopatra became as common as a seagull at a beach. We're all tired, we're all jaded, and we're all desensitized to the narratives at play. 
 

There's a certain vernacular that attaches itself to modern dating. Red flags, narcissists, and boundaries, and situationships are all within our colloquial notions of dating. No one can go on a second date without approval from their girl's chat. Read the full story below for all the details. 

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  • 01

    My 37M boyfriend said he’ll just keep his daughter away from me because I said I felt disrespected—am I being too sensitive or is this a red flag?

    Cheezburger Image 10532378112
    via stagestock / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi Reddit. I'm 27F, and I've been dating a 37M for over a year. He has a 5-year-old daughter, and as things have gotten more serious,
    via u/Severe-Locksmith7176
  • 03
    I've tried to be thoughtful and respectful in how I show up not just for him, but in how I connect with his child and family. But
    via u/Severe-Locksmith7176
  • 04
    something happened recently at a family dinner that really hurt me, and I'm trying to figure out if I'm overreacting or if this is something more serious.
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  • 05
    We were at a dinner for his mom's birthday. His daughter was sitting in the booth behind me and kept tapping me on the back of the head over and over. It
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  • 06
    wasn't aggressive, but it was physically repetitive, and I probably let it happen five or six times and didn't say anything. I didn't want to cause a scene or
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    Cheezburger Image 10532379136
    via ASIFE from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    make her feel bad she's a kid. Eventually, his mom noticed and said something to him in Spanish, telling him to have her stop.
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  • 09
    That's when he turned to me and asked, "Do you feel disrespected?" I said, "Yeah, I kind of do." And instead of taking that seriously or stepping in, he immediately said, "Too bad." Then
    via u/Severe-Locksmith7176
  • 10
    he turned to his daughter and said, "Keep doing it" jokingly. But of course, she's five. She took that as a green light and kept doing it.
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  • 11
    What really hurt me wasn't the tapping itself it was that I communicated how I felt in a calm, honest way, and he made it into a joke. He didn't step in or
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  • 12
    make me feel protected. And when I brought it up later in private, I tried to be clear about that. I wasn't mad at his daughter. I was disappointed in him. I told
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  • 13
    him it didn't feel good that I voiced something that made me uncomfortable, and instead of having my back, he brushed it off and turned it into a game.
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  • 14
    That's when he said something that really shocked me. He told me that if I thought something like that was a big deal, then the only solution is to just keep his
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  • 15
    daughter away from me going forward. That if I can't handle small things like that, it's only going to get worseand one day I'll probably make him choose
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  • 16
    between me and his kid. He also made a comment that I'd probably "only take care of my own kids," as if I'm incapable of caring for someone else's child.
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  • 17
    To be clear: I have never asked him to choose. I've gotten his daughter small gifts, showed up with warmth and grace, and I've gone out of my way to respect the dynamic between them. But
    via u/Severe-Locksmith7176
  • 18
    every time I set a boundary even one as simple as saying "this felt disrespectful"he makes it seem like I'm the enemy, like I have a problem with her. His go-to
    via u/Severe-Locksmith7176
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    Cheezburger Image 10532378880
    via Liderina from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    response is to remove me from the situation entirely, as if I'm a threat instead of a partner.
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  • 21
    He's also mentioned that he's never had to balance being a father and being in a relationship at the same time, and he doesn't know how it's supposed to work. I
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  • 22
    do understand that. I know it can be complicated, and I know this is new for him. But I also believe that being new at something doesn't give you permission to
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  • 23
    shut down your partner every time they express a need.
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  • 24
    So... am I overthinking this? Or is this as big of a red flag as it feels?
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  • 25
    grayblue_grrl • 14h ago JFC.... "Do you feel disrespected? "Yes." "Too bad."
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  • 26
    I would have left the table and he'd never see me again.
    via u/grayblue_grrl

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family drama drama toxic family feud relationships lol couples love family reddit thread red flag Reddit funny dating
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